Fragile Autumn
by Killed for Art's Sake
Summary: The leaves are always the most beautiful right before they die... (Akito fic, spoilers) Chapter 3: You'd be surprised of how different the world feels when you wake up. I woke up.
1. IntroductionSticky Notes

Fragile Autumn  
  
Rated: PG13: for language, angst  
  
**Introduction~ Sticky-Notes**  
  
"The leaves are always the most beautiful right before they die..."  
  
**** ~Daremoga hontowa kokoni iru imiwo shiratai. Doredake wakarewo kurikaseshitara iidarou?  
  
~Everyone wants to know the reason for their own existence. How many farewells do I need to repeat?~ "Proof of Life," Yoko Ishida ****  
  
I suppose you would like to hear my story.  
  
I suppose you would like to hear what it's like to be the boy "doomed to death."  
  
It's a strange experience, really...  
  
...for supposedly fearless adults to cast worried glances at you whenever they think you're not looking.  
  
...for people to point at you and mutter things behind their backs, pretending you can't hear.  
  
I suppose I'm going to start at the beginning, like most stories do. But I suppose only fairly tales do that, mutilating the minds of children, telling them that in life, there is a definite beginning and end.  
  
They're lying.  
  
I was brought into this world asleep. That's what my mother had told me. Several years later I found out that, in reality, I wasn't breathing. The doctors didn't think I'd survive the night. My mother had the nerve to lie to me and tell me I was sleeping.  
  
I hate that.  
  
My mother was so weak, trying to cover me up with her supposed "motherly love."  
  
It was a nice way of saying "pulling the wool over the child's eyes." Pretending. Playing make-believe.  
  
I can't take that kind of crap.  
  
I'm ashamed of my mother, the woman that would rather choose death than watch her own child whither away before her eyes.  
  
...Excuse me. I didn't mean to stray off topic.  
  
I, Sohma Akito, was born to Sohma Kenji and Sohma Hayasaki Marise on July 18th and I wasn't breathing. My first day on earth, and my body had already rejected me.  
  
That's really sad.  
  
Don't get me wrong. I don't want your pity. Pity sickens me; it's nauseating. It makes me want to scream, my blood freeze over. I don't want any of it at all.  
  
My parents named me before I was born. They knew I was going to be a boy; they had high hopes for me. They called me Akito, "Autumn Son," because they thought I was going to be born in September. But, surprise, surprise, I was born two months too early. (1)  
  
I think that's when my father knew what was going to happen to me. He was a Sohma; he understood the curse of the zodiac. My mother, on the other hand, was not. My father decided to wait to tell her the truth. To hide it from her.  
  
It was his own version of "motherly love."  
  
My father didn't want to scare her. He knew what happened to the last family head. Sohma Yuu, I believe it was...  
  
Yuu didn't last long at all. He must have been twelve, something obscure like that. I don't remember anymore. I don't think anyone still remembers, or wants to remember. I know I've been compared to him though. "The same gray eyes" they'd say...  
  
But that isn't true. I got my eyes from my mother.  
  
...There must have been something special about his eyes for them to remember.  
  
When I was younger, I would keep Yuu's name and age written down on a sticky note, hiding it in my sleeves. I told myself I was going to last longer than he did. I made it into a game. Death wasn't as frightening when you thought of it that way. A game...  
  
Like tag,  
  
Or pick-up-sticks,  
  
Only the sticks grow fangs and rip you up inside out.  
  
...I'm sorry. I'm falling off topic again.  
  
Of course, they didn't tell me about Yuu or how old he was when the curse finally tore him apart. I think it was more "motherly love..."  
  
It makes me gag.  
  
I had to find out such things on my own. You'd be surprised how much you could hear by leaning against doors, with your eyes closed. About how much you could hear when your footsteps didn't even make a sound.  
  
...Yuu died all alone. He was always bed-ridden, so he never met anybody. No body even knew his name until he was gone. Even then, people were never sure.  
  
"Yukito was it?"  
  
"No, I'm pretty sure it was Yuuichi. Or Youji maybe..."  
  
So you see, I'm not even sure his name was Yuu.  
  
That's another record of his I want to beat.  
  
Another game.  
  
I don't want to die like he did. I don't want to be forgotten.  
  
I will not allow it.  
  
I'll force people to remember me; I'll push it so hard into their brains that they'll bleed. That they'll scream for mercy...  
  
That they'll remember my name.  
  
I don't want to be weak like the past family heads. Because I'm not a weak person. No body will ever forget me.  
  
I will not allow it.  
  
...I beat Yuu's record. I'm turning twenty in three months.  
  
I wonder how much longer I have?  
  
I wonder if my name and age will ever be kept on a sticky-note.  
  
A/N: (1) I was always curious as to why Akito was named...well, "Akito." I know it means autumn son, or something like that, but on information sites, people claim he's a cancer (Late June, Early to mid July, I believe.). Then I remembered what Momiji said in episode 15: "Children cursed with the zodiac are born a full two months earlier than the usual pregnancy term." I realized that if Akito was supposed to be born in September, because he was cursed, he would actually be born in July. It all makes sense now...  
  
^_^0 Well, how did you all like it? This is my first Akito fanfiction. It's mostly going to focus on his past. Before each chapter, I'm going to use lyrics from Yoko Ishida's song "Proof of Life." It really reminds me of Akito and the first few lines of the song (the ones I used for this chapter) always strike me. You can find that song on her cd "Sweets" and they even sell it in the US (I got mine in a Suncoast.) If you read this, please use 30 seconds of your time to review ^^; It's not that hard. Because I'm fairly new to this site, each review makes me really happy. The more reviews I get, the more inspired I will be to finish the second chapter. ^_^0 Thank you so much for reading this...  
  
Preview for Next Chapter: This will deal with the relationship between Akito and his mother, and also his rude awaking into the true reality of the world.  
  
Please check for the update onegai! 


	2. Chapter 1 Cold Hands

Fragile Autumn  
  
Disclainer: Ano...Fruits Basket is not mine.  
  
A/N: I decided to put my little comments up here. I realized that having this one after the ending kind of ruined the mood of this chapter. Anyway, if you don't know, "Okaasan" is "mother" in Japanese. I'm aware most of you know this, but when I was younger I remember reading fanfictions and becoming irritated at all the Japanese words they threw in that I didn't know.  
  
Ah yes! Thanks for the all great reviews! ^^ You don't know how much it means to me...  
  
Rei: Oh goodness! Thank you for reviewing first! ^^ It's reviews like that that make me so happy...  
  
Yuan: I'm glad I can make my work unique ^^; Oops XD My bad on the autumn thing. I just remember learning about "Aki" when I learned about the four seasons. I just assumed ^^; Ah well, I'll keep the title anyway. I still think it fits.  
  
Anee: Wee ^^ Thanks. I'm glad I caught your interest.  
  
Kireina: ^^ I just love getting inside characters heads!  
  
Keitorin:Yeah, a lot of Akito fics can be pretty mean x.o (plot: Akito decides for some reason he wants to punish someone, angst ensues.) I don't like stories where he is made out as JUST the bad guy.  
  
Hiei-luver45- I know x_o Akito just needs a hug...  
  
Arrei: Aw! You should finish that story. I would surely read it ^^ Anyway, I'm glad you liked the first chapter. Your stories are quite good too ^_^  
  
Hyper Riceball: XD Love the screenname, by the way. Big Akito fans are cool ^^ Get writing!  
  
Thank you SO much everyone! :O You make me feel very happy...  
  
Hope you like this chapter!  
  
**Chapter 1~ Cold Hands**  
  
****  
  
~ Kudaranai jouku mo kokochii barado mitaini, kioketa shiawasena anokokoni modoretanara.  
  
~I wish I can go back to a happy time, where even a silly joke sounded like a comfortable ballad.  
  
****  
  
I lied.  
  
I told you I was going to tell my story from the beginning, but I lied.  
  
The beginning isn't very important.  
  
I'll just be quick and sum it up.  
  
For nearly five years, I lived blissfully unaware of what was going on inside my body, my mother believed I simply had a bad immune system, and my father knew the truth, hiding it from us all.  
  
It was as simple as that.  
  
I didn't go to school because my parents thought it wouldn't be safe. I guess they just didn't want me dropping dead when they weren't there.  
  
How nice of them.  
  
Instead, I was taught at home by one of the elder Sohma's who had just recently retired from a teaching career. I always caught him giving me weird looks.  
  
...It scared me. It was scary to have adults look at you with concern when you couldn't figure out what was wrong. Why they were frowning.  
  
My father... he was good at keeping secrets, but no one could keep such a secret forever.  
  
When I was four years old, only three weeks away from my fifth birthday, I fell dangerously ill. I could hardly move, I would babble things incoherently, and I was constantly in and out of the hospital. I don't remember much else.  
  
I just know it was when the curse finally caught up to me.  
  
He must have told mother then, now that I think of it. He saw how panicked she was, how confused...  
  
It was a mistake to fling the truth upon her so quickly.  
  
"Marise, our child is dying."  
  
It must have been as blunt and sudden as that.  
  
After all, that was how he told me.  
  
...I got better in time for my birthday, but by the time I was aware of my surroundings, my mother had become a different person. Her voice had become softer, and her eyes would become sad and empty whenever she looked at me.  
  
I think she broke.  
  
I know she broke.  
  
I can remember what happened next.  
  
It had been a week since my birthday, and nearly two weeks since I recovered from my "illness." I was laying my head against the kotatsu, letting the heat seep into my skull. My parents were talking in low, hushed voices, trying to pretend I couldn't hear them. It didn't matter though; I wasn't listening.  
  
"Akito-kun?"  
  
I lifted my head up, curious eyes watching my mother.  
  
She smiled, "Akito-kun? Would you like to go for a walk? You've been in bed for so long. I'm sure you'd like to see some sun, wouldn't you, Akito-kun?" There was a touch of fake cheerfulness in her voice, although I didn't notice it at the time.  
  
I quieted nodded and she took my hand, helping me up. She dressed me, and led me by the hand outside. I remember seeing my father before we left. His eyes were sad and full of worry...  
  
I took a breath.  
  
We walked down the long busy roads of town, holding hands. Mother wasn't looking at me. She couldn't bear to see my face. Not after she knew the truth.  
  
How despairing that must have been.  
  
She was so weak.  
  
I squinted my eyes in the sunlight; it was so different from our darkly lit house. It felt like my head was spinning, like I was tied up on some sort of hospital bed with the light shining too bright over my face. The light was escaping into my brain and squeezing it, choking it. Stretching it to see how far it would go before it burst.  
  
That is what I remembered it feeling like.  
  
"Okaasan...I want to go home now. It's too bright." I spoke faintly, nearly in a whisper. My voice had not yet recovered from the sickness, "It's too crowed. My ears hurt, Okaasan..."  
  
She stopped.  
  
I looked up.  
  
She squeezed my hand tight.  
  
I squeezed back, not fully understanding what was going on. "What is it, Okaasan?"  
  
Mother turned her head away from me, looking out into the street, into the endless cars and people. She spoke, her voice trembling slightly. "Akito...Akito, your hands are always so cold."  
  
"Okaasan?"  
  
"And you're so skinny..." She sounded like she was about to cry.  
  
I looked at her with confused eyes. She was babbling...I didn't understand what she talking about. I didn't understand what was making her so sad. Adults aren't supposed to be afraid, they aren't supposed to cry. She was doing it all wrong.  
  
Without another word, she tore her hand away from mine. I cried out in protest, wanting her to hold my hand again. Pleading. But mother didn't listen.  
  
Instead, she threw herself into the street...  
  
...right in front of a truck.  
  
"OKAASAN!"  
  
She died on impact.  
  
That is why I find my mother weak. 


	3. Chapter 2 Rain

Fragile Autumn  
  
A/N: I actually did Chapter 1 and this chapter in the same day. ^_^0 Ah, it's nice to get on writing kicks. I'm not as happy with this chapter as my other ones, but I hope you like it anyway. ^_^0 Chapter 3, which I am working on now, seems to be starting off a lot better than this one. XD You guys have been making me so happy with all the reviews. I've never gotten so many :O Thank you so much!!  
  
Lori R: Angsty fics are always fun XD Yuki is quite the bishie too, ne? ^^ Thankies!  
  
Kimna: Computers can really be evil o_o; To tell you the truth, the internet of my computer hasn't been working so I've been posting these chapters via floppy. Waah! The pain! Akito is a bit hard to understand ^^; But I do my best! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Kireina- Aw... no, nobody deserves to see something like that. You'll get to see Akito's reaction in this chapter. ^^  
  
Anee: I tried my best to make it unexpected, which is why the ending was so abrupt. Glad I conveyed that XD I'm not sure how I'd handle it if someone I loved was going to die.  
  
Joanne: ^^; Thanks a lot...  
  
Arrei: ^_^ Ee! Thank you so much! I still find your skills superior to mine though XD My stuff is closer to tortured poetry than fanfiction...  
  
Hiei_luver45: XD Wow, someone else who started their review with a "O.O" Yeah...I feel sorry for him too.  
  
Rei Sohma: ^^ Thank you thank you thank you! So sorry about the mistake with your fic again..^^;  
  
LunaCat: ^^ It's goal is to be sad. O_o hm... I believe all the fics I've written so far have been angst...  
  
Visual: ^^ I really love fics that dig into the characters emotions. That's why I enjoy writing them so much.  
  
Val Kyrie: Lack of information? Ha! You're in luck, I'm working on an Akito shrine website right now XD I'll let you know when I put it up. Yeah, I can't imagine Akito being the type of person to openly accept pity. Thanks for the review!  
  
Hyper Riceball: ^^ Wah..no, thank you! It really makes me feel honored to be getting such nice reviews...I'm glad you like it!  
  
Haru-the-bishie-chaser: XD Woo...cool screen name! *bishie chaser! Wahahaha!* I know, Akito fics are hard to find x_x it makes things very hard for his loyal fans. Thanks!  
  
*_* I worship you all! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!  
  
And I shall begin...  
  
New Japanese for this Chapter:  
  
Otousan- Father  
  
Nani- What  
  
Juunishi- Zodiac o_O I'd be surprised if most of you didn't know that by now.  
  
Ne- There isn't a direct translation. It most closely means "You think?" "Right?" "Huh?" "Agree?"  
  
**Chapter 2- Rain**  
  
****  
  
~ Arigatou ganbattane koe kakete agetai todoku youni.  
  
~ I want to tell you "thank you" and that you tried your best.  
  
****  
  
It was raining on my mother's funeral.  
  
She used to tell me that it rained because angels were crying.  
  
.I don't think it's going to rain when I die.  
  
I didn't understand death back then. I just remember my father telling me I was never going to see mother again. He wouldn't even hug me, or wipe away my tears. The man just mentally shoved me away.  
  
His true loved had died, and he knew that his son was soon to follow.  
  
That must have been emotionally damaging.  
  
...He blamed me for mother's death. Father wouldn't say that, but I was able tell from his movements and his cold eyes. And the words he chose to explain death to me. He didn't want to believe that he held me responsible. Father tried to fool himself. Of course, that never works.  
  
I began to hate my mother.  
  
I hated that she left me; that she wasn't going to be coming back. That she killed herself in front of my very eyes. That she would rather have me watch her die, than suffer herself when I died.  
  
She was too weak.  
  
And at age five, I knew that was the truth. I knew she was too weak and I couldn't stand it.  
  
What kind of person would chose to die of their own free will?  
  
I remember that a few days after the funeral, my cousin Shigure approached me. He had the intention of pitying me, letting me cry on his shoulder. He didn't know what he would get instead.  
  
"Akito-san..." the young teenager crouched so he was at my level of height, "Are you okay, Akito-san?"  
  
"I'm fine." I spoke coldly, as if my voice was icing over.  
  
Shigure looked a bit perplexed, tilting his head to the side. "I'm really sorry about your mother, Akito-san." He started to fiddle with his kimono sleeve nervously.  
  
"Why should you be sorry? She was too weak," I looked down, a small smile played on my lips, "Weak people don't deserve to live long."  
  
Shigure took a step back, utterly shocked at my reply. He paused for a moment, and then turned away, leaving me alone.  
  
I'm sorry? Did I scare you away, Shigure? Did my reaction astonish you? Are little children supposed to speak such harsh words? Am I scary?  
  
Did I break like Okaasan?  
  
I remember about hearing a boy in my family, a few years older than me, who was born with the ability to erase any memories from a person's mind.  
  
Sohma Hatori.  
  
It was another curse; it came with being the dragon juunishi. Somebody had to be cursed in order to protect the secret of the curse itself. Isn't that ironic? .I'll get to the point.  
  
The memories of mother were poisoning my soul. I couldn't stop thinking about her, about what she was like, about how pathetic she was. My mind was swelling.  
  
"Would you like to go for a walk?"  
  
"You're hands are always so cold..."  
  
"Akito-kun?"  
  
...It hurt so much.  
  
Hatori is the son of my doctor.  
  
It would be easy to reach him.  
  
On August 10th, my father drove me over to the house of my doctor, Sohma Hitoshi, and his son, Sohma Hatori. Father sat down in a chair and started talking to Hitoshi, telling him about my eating habits, how many times I had been sick in the past month, and whether or not I was recovering steadily from my last "episode." I silently walked out of the room, making sure my small feet didn't make that "pitter-patter" noise against the floor.  
  
I was going to find Hatori.  
  
I was going to forget mother.  
  
Everything was going to be okay.  
  
I found Hatori fairly soon, he was in a chair, leaning over a desk, scribbling something down on a piece of paper. It must have been his homework. He was, after all, only thirteen. That was my first time seeing him, I have to admit, his height and his deep voice had intimidated me. I began to fear him less, when I realized in a sense, he was mine.  
  
He was mine because I was the reason he was still alive. Because I was dying for him. Without me, there would be no Sohma Hatori.  
  
That boy owes me everything in the world.  
  
...But I didn't know yet.  
  
"Hatori-san?" I spoke, my voice almost a murmur.  
  
I don't think he heard me.  
  
"Hatori-san?" I spoke again, a little bit louder.  
  
He jumped up and turned around in his chair. His eyes softened when he realized it was just a little boy, the little boy his father takes care of so often. "What is it Akito-san?"  
  
"I want to forget."  
  
Hatori visibly twitched. I doubt he ever got used to his 'gift.' I also don't think he expected those words to come from the voice of a mere child.  
  
"What," he stood up out of his chair slowly, "What would you like to forget, Akito-san?" I'm sure he wished I would be gone by the time he got out of his chair. That I would change my decision and cower away quickly. But I was still there, my deep gray eyes staring up at him unsettlingly.  
  
"Okaasan." I didn't realize how desperate my voice sounded, how broken...  
  
Hatori looked at me, a hint of concern in his usually indifferent eyes, "Your mother? Why would you--?"  
  
"I want to forget...!" I spoke, my voice becoming louder, trying to stop myself from crying.  
  
Tears disgust me. They're a sign of weakness.  
  
And weak people die.  
  
"L-Let me forget!" I was pleading now. "Please, Hatori-san!"  
  
Hatori paused, searching for something in my eyes that would give me away, that would make me stop. He wasn't going to find anything.  
  
He didn't find anything.  
  
"Alight." Hatori breathed, I could tell he was in a mental struggle. He must of known I was cursed. That I was doomed to become his master.  
  
Why else would he not refuse my demands?  
  
"Sit down, Akito-san."  
  
I obeyed, whimpering faintly. He kneeled down in front of me and placed his hand over my face. I closed my eyes. it felt soothing against the warmth of his hands.  
  
This is it.  
  
I'm going to be saved.  
  
Weakness is a disease.  
  
I'm not going to catch it.  
  
"AKITO!"  
  
...Or so I thought.  
  
I felt Hatori's hand jerked away from me. When I opened my eyes I saw that my father had grabbed him from behind and was pulling him towards the other end of the room.  
  
"STAY AWAY FROM MY SON, YOU BASTARD!" He was screaming, his eyes full of rage.  
  
I moved my hands to cover my ears. I didn't care about my tears anymore. They swelled up in my eyes as I trembled, curling up into a small ball. Trying to become invisible.  
  
It's too loud...  
  
Stop, Otousan...!  
  
Father had dragged Hatori off me and thrown him roughly against the wall.  
  
...And then he came for me.  
  
I shrieked and kicked as he hauled me up over his shoulder, tears overflowing from my eyes. I beat on his back as hard as my small hands could. Gasping.I was already using too much of my energy.  
  
"NO! STOP IT! OTOUSAN! I WANT TO FORGET! OTOUSAN!" My voice was cracking. I wasn't used to raising my voice yet. I wanted help. I wanted him to let me go.  
  
I wanted him to let me forget.  
  
Catching a glance at Hatori, I noticed he looked absolutely terrified and shaken up.  
  
So different from the usual image of him, ne?  
  
Father didn't care I that I was screaming and struggling, he took out of the room and placed me forcefully in a chair.  
  
"Are you aware about what you nearly just did?! Are you, Akito?!"  
  
I was crying too hard to answer. I was hyperventilating, my breath felt like it was just on the tip of my tongue, and it would run away when I tried to catch it. More games.it was playing tag.  
  
Suffocating.  
  
"Answer me, Akito!" He grabbed tightly onto my shoulders. "Why would you want forget your own mother?!" He seemed completely oblivious of my attempts to get air. What I was about to do with Hatori, to father, was completely unforgivable.  
  
The only words I was able to choke out were, "Weak...d-dead..."  
  
"Akito." He pulled me close to his face, his words were spoken through gritted teeth. "Do you know why your mother is dead, Akito?"  
  
My eyes widened, I shook my head, my breaths slowly becoming more mild. It was giving me a chance to catch up. A running start.  
  
"Because she didn't want to be alive when you die."  
  
Tag.  
  
You're it.  
  
Silent.  
  
I froze, completely silent. I wasn't wheezing anymore because I stopped breathing. My breath was knocked out of me. It didn't want to play anymore.  
  
Die.  
  
Died.  
  
Dead.  
  
Gone forever.  
  
Okaasan...  
  
"You're dying Akito. You are dying for the people in this family. You were born to die for them." Father's voice was getting fainter, it was becoming harder for him to speak.  
  
My voice was small, I forced the breath through my lips, "N-Nani?"  
  
Father sounded almost cruel. He hadn't practiced for this. He didn't expect it to be so early. Keeping such emotions locked up...  
  
"Did you ever wonder why you're sick all the time? Why you hardly leave the house...? You aren't going to live much longer, Akito."  
  
...They can release themselves in unimaginable ways.  
  
I had just recently learned what death was, and here it was, staring me in the face. It wants me to play.  
  
I was frozen, my mouth hung open as if I was about to say something, as if I was going to protest.  
  
No.  
  
That's not true.  
  
It can't be true.  
  
It's fake.  
  
It's a dream.  
  
Wake me up.  
  
WAKE ME UP!  
  
My father embraced me, hugging me tightly as he started to cry. I felt his tears on the back of my neck.  
  
"I'm sorry, A-Akito...I'm so sorry..."  
  
...It's a frightening thing for a child to watch an adult cry.  
  
Adults are not immortal.  
  
Adults are afraid.  
  
I'm not going to reach adulthood.  
  
At age five, my innocence was stripped away from me.  
  
The world looks so different now.  
  
~End Chapter 2~  
  
A/N: I hope you liked it...or...well..whatever. I suppose you can't really *like* angst. After this, your going to see how Akito developed to be who he was in the series. Remember, please take a little bit of time to leave a review. You don't know how much I appreciate them. All the reviews so far have been overflowing me with joy! Thanks so much for reading this far :O  
  
Preview for Next Chapter:  
  
3 years later: Akito learns that there are others weaker than himself... 


	4. Chapter 3 Fragile

A/N: Wee ^^ Another chapter! I'm going to try and update at least once a week (although I may be late every so often ^^; plus I'm adjusting to a new computer and school work) I think I'm going to have three more chapters after this one. Maybe 2 if I get in a writers block XD Ah well! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!  
  
Arrei: ^^ Waai! Thank you so much! ^^; I don't have any recent original stories (though I've got a few ideas; I'm so lazy XD) ^^; I may post something on fictionpress soon. After all, this is my longest story ever XD  
  
hiei_luver45: Yeah ^^; Bad tempers seem to run in the Sohma family. ^_^ Thanks for the review.  
  
joanne: ^^; Er...Thanks?  
  
Kimna: :O Yeah! Poor Akito. I always asumed that he knew what was going to happen since a very young age considering his behaivior in the series. ^^ Glad you like it.  
  
Misaki the Assasin: XD He is great, isn't he? ^^; I understand the evil train of thought. Thanks!  
  
Anee: I'm not sure if it would be best if he forgot about his mother either. As Momiji says, "some memories you just have to live with" ^^; (or something like that...) Yeah, it is interesting. ^^  
  
HyperRiceball: ^_^ Thank you thank you! (o_O My chapters seem to be getting longer too...)  
  
Rei Sohma: ^_^ waii...thanks!  
  
Yuan: I always wondered what happened to Akito's parents...I just kind of had a flash of something like that happening to his mother and I decided to run with it ^_^0 It is a bit sad...Yeah. Poor Hatori seems to have gotten in the middle o_o;  
  
Val: ^^; You've already gotten my email so I'm not sure what else to write here XD Thank you! (I'll make sure to look into your ideas ^^)  
  
kireina: I always imagined Akito wasn't exactly "sheltered" from the truth for very long. I figured it had to be pretty ubrupt considering how he acts.  
  
Thank you for the reviews! ^^ Eee!  
  
**Chapter 3- Fragile**  
  
****  
  
~Doushite hitowa ikiteiru nokana. Donna unmeimo kodokuna tabimo subete uketomete...  
  
~ I wonder why people live. I'll accept any fate and lonesome journey...  
  
****  
  
You'd be surprised.  
  
You'd be surprised of how different the world feels when you wake up.  
  
I woke up.   
  
Reality is here and I can't escape it anymore. It's pointless; sometimes things don't ever go back to "normal."  
  
At age five I was told by my father, as he cried, that I wasn't going to live very long. It was like ice being poured down my spine. Frozen. Numbing.  
  
I was only five years old.  
  
I knew the truth about death. I knew how delicate human life is and how easy it must be for darkness to take over. Life isn't fair. There is no justice; people die. Everyone does. It doesn't matter if you're a mother, or a child. It doesn't matter at all.  
  
...Don't pretend it does.  
  
I was only five years old, and I understood more about life and death than most people do in a lifetime. Existence is sorrow. Existence is pain.  
  
I was awake.  
  
Now that I knew about the curse, I had began to recognize the glances of pity. I now knew why adults would look at me with suffering in their eyes.  
  
I had developed a habit of walking with my eyes facing the ground, with my back slumped over so I didn't have to look at their faces. Their faces...trying to commiserate me.  
  
Commiserate.  
  
It's not a very flattering sounding word, is it?  
  
...I don't understand. They're all going to die too, why waste pity on me? Because I'm so young? Death doesn't care either way, why should I?  
  
I had developed a hate for the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Not because I knew I would never be able to reply to it, but because I realized a good deal of the people who are asked will probably never live long enough to ask their children the same thing.  
  
"If you grow up" is more appropriate.  
  
"When" is a word of false hope; the false hope that tomorrow will always exist.  
  
The adults used to hate it when I corrected that. "If" is an uncertain word. Nobody likes uncertainty.  
  
I should really be getting back to my "story," but I'm not going to continue where I've left off. I'll skip ahead a few years, to when I was eight years old.  
  
At that point, the parents liked to keep their children away from me. They didn't want me to "poison" their minds. They didn't like my detached voice or my ice-cold eyes.   
  
They also didn't like how I used the word "if."   
  
I had a history of a violent temper. When I was in a bad mood, I endangered everyone around me. I cracked a boy's head open once when he asked why I couldn't race with him. Of course, it was his fault for provoking an answer. I just pushed him a little and down he fell, right into a pile of rocks. He should have shut up. It would have saved his parents from a hefty doctor bill and my father from his grief. After he returned from the hospital, the boy went crying to his parents, asking why I couldn't play and why I wanted to hurt him. Their excuse was that I was "fragile."  
  
Fragile?  
  
That's right. I'm fragile.  
  
Like autumn.  
  
Because that's when all the leaves die.  
  
...The children, my peers, eventually became afraid of me as well. It was inevitable. Who wouldn't be afraid of the strange little boy whom their parents tell them to stay away from? It's not as if it was entirely the adults' fault... my cousins had seen enough of my temper in any case. They're all cowards.  
  
I don't want anything to do with them anyway.  
  
Alright, I'm going to get back on track.  
  
On this particular day, while my father was occupied with my doctor, I was able to catch a glance of my files.  
  
Patient: Sohma Akito  
  
Parents/Guardians: Sohma Kenji, Sohma Hayasaki Marise (deceased)  
  
Gender: Male  
  
Date of Birth: 7.18.83  
  
Blood Type: AB  
  
I blinked. AB blood... The universal receiver (1). That's lucky, I suppose.  
  
My eyes traced towards the end of the paper where a comment was quickly thrown in on the side.  
  
Life Expectancy: Early twenties?  
  
I don't even think my expression changed when I read that. It wasn't anything new. I've been overhearing too many of the adult's conversations lately. Nothing much. I'll just excuse myself to the bathroom, throw up, and then add my name to the sticky note just under Yuu's.  
  
Sohma Yuu: Age 9  
  
Me: 20, 21, 22, 23 (?)  
  
Oh. How silly of me; I forgot. Yuu only lasted until he was nine, not twelve. My mistake.   
  
At least I was winning, ne?  
  
The following day is really when the next part of my story starts. I woke up with the sun as I always did. I have never been a particularly heavy sleeper, the littlest things could cause me to jolt awake. So, I woke up early and somehow found the energy to lazily drag myself to the common room. As I sleepily lifted my head up to take a look around, I realized something completely unsettling.  
  
I was alone.  
  
The walls were empty; there wasn't any furniture. There wasn't anything. Nothing was here.  
  
No one was here.  
  
That's right. My father had abandoned me. I don't blame him. He must have gotten fed up with me or something, because I haven't seen him since. He must have realized what my mom and I had; that it was pointless to continue hoping for a better future, because there isn't ever going to be one.  
  
I wonder what he's doing right now? I wonder if he's alive.  
  
I wonder if he's in the middle of the road waiting for a truck to hit him.  
  
I would have been quite content staying at home by myself. I didn't need anybody. But my so-called "concerned family" didn't like the idea of such a young and frail boy living all alone. So, it was decided to I was going to stay with a few of my family members until my father returned. They still had a faint idea in their twisted heads that he was coming back.   
  
I knew more than that.   
  
I didn't fall for things like that.   
  
I knew he was gone forever and I can't blame him.  
  
I was to stay with Sohma Kahori, Sohma Tatsuya, and their two children. Both cursed. I had heard a lot of them before.  
  
"What unfortunate parents, giving birth to not only one, but two cursed children!"  
  
"I wonder how Kahori could handle it, not being able to embrace either of them..."  
  
"How horrible! I'd hate to be in their shoes. A rat and a snake you say...?"  
  
Cute. That's cute. They're cursed to turn into animals whenever females hug them. How amusing. These are the people I'm dying for.  
  
Damn it.  
  
So, these "unfortunate" people decided to take me in. I wonder what was wrong with them. If they can't handle two juunishi, how could they handle me?  
  
I don't know. They didn't do a very good job.  
  
I remember when I heaved what little belongs I had to the house a few doors down. I was greeted before I had a chance to knock.  
  
"Oh goodness, you didn't have to come here by yourself! I told you I was going to pick you up!" Kahori held the door open as she looked at me as if I had done something horribly dangerous, as if not listening put my very life at risk. She was immediately at my side, taking the suitcases away from me. "No wonder your posture is always so horrible."  
  
I looked up at her, expressionless, although I was panting slightly, "I am fine, Aunt Kahori. My house is not very far." I was annoyed at her over concern for me, "It was not very hard for me to bring my belongings over here." I spoke every word clearly, to make it obvious: I don't like people hanging over me.  
  
"Nonsense. You don't want to hurt yourself, do you?" She smiled at me; I cringed because I knew it was fake. "Follow me inside."  
  
When I followed her into the house, I noticed a boy a few years younger than me, shyly peaking behind a door. Kahori placed my luggage down in a corner and then signaled to the small child.  
  
"Yuki-kun...why don't you come out and say 'hello' to our new friend?"  
  
Yuki? That sounds so familiar...  
  
Yuki...?  
  
...Yuu.  
  
Yuki slowly stepped out from behind the door and looked at me curiously with his big violet eyes. He must have been five or so at the time.   
  
The same age I awoke.  
  
Kahori leaned over so she was at her son's height. "Do you know who this boy is, Yuki-kun?"  
  
Yuki looked from his mother, and then to me. He took a small breath, as if everything rested on his answer "Aki-kun?" He looked to me for approval.  
  
I turned away.  
  
Disappointed, Yuki turned to his mother. 'Is that right?' his expression asked.  
  
"That's correct, Yuki-kun. This boy is the family head." She smiled as she brought herself to full height again, patting him on the head.  
  
Like a pet, not a child.  
  
Kahori turned to me, brushing her silver blond hair behind her ear, "Do you have anything to say about yourself, Akito-kun?"  
  
I visibly twitched. That was the name my mother called me. "Akito-kun" was reserved for her, and for her alone. It was insult for somebody who hardly knew me to use it.  
  
I wondered if I would be strong enough to knock her to the ground.  
  
...However, my thoughts were interrupted. My aunt had noticed the twitch and my sudden change in expression. "Is something the matter?"  
  
I brought my glance up to hers and then I closed my eyes, forcing a smile. "I am fine, just a little bit cold."  
  
Just wondering if I'm strong even to pull your arm out of the socket.  
  
"Oh, alright." It was that easy; she didn't even question me. Adults are foolish like that. They refuse to believe that a child would possibly lie about their emotions. They always assume that if a child is in pain, they'd speak up. They think that all children are energetic and wear their hearts on their sleeves.  
  
Foolish.  
  
My heart is in my chest, where nobody would dare go.  
  
A sticky-note with the name of a dead child was on my sleeve.  
  
"I've got a some blankets in the bedrooms, I can get them--"  
  
"No," I interrupted her, still smiling sweetly, "I can get them myself." I walked past Yuki, towards one of the bedrooms. As I passed him, I whispered something softly; so only he could hear.  
  
"Don't call me 'Aki.'"  
  
A shiver.  
  
A step back.  
  
I laughed to myself.  
  
Poor soul.  
  
I entered one of the bedrooms and retrieved a fairly large gray blanket, wrapping it around myself. It was really just a nuisance, but that woman wouldn't accept it if I didn't wear it. She'd fret and babble about how I could catch cold and what a danger it was to my health. I would prefer to avoid that.  
  
As I re-entered the room, I noticed Kahori was buttoning up her jacket. She saw me come in and looked a bit relieved that I had actually found the blanket.  
  
It would be shame if I froze to death, wouldn't it?  
  
Kahori looked at Yuki and I, "Now, I'm going to have to go out for a bit. Ayame needs to be picked up from a social event and we're in desperate need for some more milk. I won't be more than an hour or so." She gingerly picked up her purse and headed towards the front door. "Yuki-kun, why don't you play with Akito-kun a bit? Show him around the house." And without another word she was gone.  
  
How irresponsible. Leaving her small child and illness prone nephew alone in a house.  
  
I sighed as I watched her leave. I could have lived alone if this was what I was going to deal with.  
  
"Ano..." A small voice came just behind me.  
  
I turned around, letting my gray-blue eyes meet his.  
  
"What is it, Yuki?"  
  
"Ano..." he glanced at me curiously, "Are you... are you the one who's going to die?"  
  
Smack.  
  
It was an innocent question, one that a young child repeats only after hearing his parents say it so many times. I don't even think he knew what death was at the time. It was innocent... but that didn't stop me.  
  
I hit him again.   
  
"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" I grabbed hard onto his arm, letting my nails dig into his skin.  
  
Feeling the warm blood around the tips of my fingers.  
  
It was wonderful.   
  
"You don't know anything! You're just a stupid rat! A STUPID RAT!" I was spurting out words as quick as I could, still clutching onto his arm.   
  
Shrieking.  
  
"It's your fault that this is happening to me! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" I paused for a moment in order to catch my breath.  
  
Panting.  
  
"L-Let me go," Yuki's voice spoke weakly, in-between his falling tears, "It h-hurt's. Please let m-me go, Akito-san..."  
  
Good. He didn't call me "Aki."  
  
Wait.  
  
Is he crying because of me? Is this because of me?  
  
"I-It hurt's... stop it, please..."  
  
He's pleading? Ha.  
  
"A-Akito-san..."  
  
It was the first time in my life I had felt superior to others. It was the first time I realized I'm not the weakest. I was not the one crying and gasping for air.   
  
I am superior.  
  
Roughly letting go of his arm, I cupped his face with my hand. A smirk came across my lips when I felt how much his breath quickened.   
  
How much his face paled.  
  
"I am the Sohma head," I muttered, "Know you're place."   
  
Letting go of his cheek, I turned away, retreating to the darkness of my room.  
  
It was then that I knew what I must do.  
  
Even if I have to drill it into their skulls...  
  
...Nobody will ever forget me.  
  
And Yuki?  
  
Yuki has the best privilege of all.  
  
...Because he's "mine" now.  
  
~End Chapter 3~  
  
(1) Universal receiver is a blood type term. People with certain types of blood types can only receive certain types of blood if they were in an accident. People with AB blood can get any type of blood if they needed, hence the title. O is the universal doner because anybody could receive type o blood.  
  
o_o And hence Akito's obsession with Yuki. ^_^0 I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Remember, if you read this please leave a review ^^; It makes me jump up and down every time I get one, it's all apprieciated XD Thank you! Next update should be in a week or so (Friday, 24th Oct)  
  
Random Fruits Basket phrases for the update!:   
  
"Boku wa Sohma no toushu da yo..." (I am the head of the Sohma's...(episode 13 flashback))   
  
"Bzzt bzzt! Haru ni naru desu yo! Watashi wa haru ga ichiban suki desu!" (Bzzt bzzt! It turns into spring! I like spring the best! (Kana, episode 8))  
  
Preview for next chapter:  
  
Rumors of a fate worse than his own... 


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